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HER MAMMA 






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LITTLE MAUDE AND 

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HER MAMMA 

BY 

CHARLES BATTELL LOOMIS 

AUTHOR OF “MINERVA’S MANCEUVRES,” 
“cheerful AMERICANS,” ETC. 

Illustrated by the Author 



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NEW YORK 

DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY 
MCMIX 



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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, INCLUDING THAT OF TRANSLATION 
INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, INCLUDING THE SCANDINAVIAN 


COPYRIGHT, 1905, BY A. S. BARNES & CO. 
COPYRIGHT, 1909, BY DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY 

PUBLISHED, OCTOBER, 1909 



248766 


DEDICATED, WITH LOVE, TO 


MY DAUGHTER EDITH. 

WHO HAS BEEN MY INSPIRATION FOR 


MANY A STORY 


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CONTENTS 


Page 

I, The Mother of Little Maude 

and Little Maude . . . 13 

II. Little Maude and the Ship- 

wreck 21 

III. Little Maude and the Fire . 35 









ILLUSTRATIONS 


Facing 

page 

The Runaway Frontispiece 

The Escape 18 

‘‘^Can I bring you an eclair^ MamvruT''^ . 22 


“ Little Maude saw other dames come to 

curl ” 86 



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LITTLE MAUDE AND 
HER MAMMA 


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AUTHOR’S NOTE 


HOW LITTLE MAUDE CAME 

^ I^HIS is how “ Little Maude ” came 
to be written. 

If one has a daughter of the right 
age it is easy to tell bedtime stories, 
and so one evening when Miss Sober- 
face called me upstairs to “ tell her 
about a story,” I went into the bedroom 
and trusted to luck to bring me a story 
in time for me to give it utterance. 

That is really the best way. If you 
prepare a story beforehand it may not 
suit your Miss Soberface, and then you 
have had your trouble for nothing. But 
if you leave it to chance, and just start, 
something is sure to happen. 

[3] 


AUTHOR’S NOTE 


And so it was that evening. I started 
little Maude on her ride after the two 
four-legged horses, and the first thing I 
knew the horses were running away 
*‘and her Mamma did not know it,” 
and then things followed in what 
seemed to be a perfectly natural sequence 
for a bedtime story. 

When the tale was done Miss Sober- 
face said, ‘‘ Oh, you ought to write that 
out, papa.” 

Most persons do not need to be asked 
to write, and it was not many hours be- 
fore I took the advice of my daughter 
and ** wrote the story out.” 

When I had read it to a few ‘‘ grown- 
ups,” and they had liked it, I decided 
to send it to a grown-up magazine, and 
selected T/ie Century as being a digni- 
fied background for a piece of fooling. 

[ 4 ] 


AUTHOR’S NOTE 


Then as I wanted it illustrated, I made 
two sketches by way of suggestion, and 
mailed all. 

Both Miss Soberface and I were 
pleased when the story was accepted, 
but I was pleased to the skipping and 
hurrahing point when The Century 
editors told me that they intended pub- 
lishing my pictures just as I had drawn 
them. 

There was never a writer who would 
not rather have been a singer or a 
sculptor or an actor or an artist, and I 
was naturally prouder of my sketches 
than of any story I ever wrote. 

It seems that there must be many 
Misses Soberface in the country, for I 
heard on all sides of the use of Little 
Maude ” as a bedtime story. 

After a time I came to use it as an 

[5] 


AUTHOR’S NOTE 


after-dinner story, and then the good 
Mr. Bok asked permission to print it, 
together with the pictures, in his ‘‘ That 
Reminds Me ” column, and that gave it 
many millions of readers at one fell 
swoop. 

After a while I thought I would like 
to have my story in a book since so many 
persons had asked me where they could 
get it, and so with the permission of 
The Century Company I put it into 
the mouth of a character in the only 
novel I am ever likely to perpetrate, 
“ Minerva’s Manoeuvres.” 

This novel was published by Messrs. 
A. S. Barnes & Co., and they have now 
given me further permission to use the 
story in the form in which you see it 
here. 

When Mr. Jerome K. Jerome came 

[ 6 ] 


AUTHOR’S NOTE 


over to America to read, it so happened 
that I was chosen to read with him, 
and we followed 1 5,000 miles of rail- 
road from the Atlantic to the Pacific 
and from Canada to Mexico. And so 
surely as he read from Three Men in 
a Boat” so surely did I read ‘‘The 
Mother of Little Maude and Little 
Maude,” and as I always read it from 
the book I cannot to this day repeat it 
without the book. 

There are very few states where the 
story that little Miss Soberface inspired 
has not been heard, and I have found 
that its utter absense of sense appeals to 
Yankee and Westerner and Southerner 
alike. One touch of nonsense makes 
the whole world grin. 

Now when Messrs. Doubleday, Page 
& Co. approached me, and said that 

[ 7 J 


AUTHOR’S NOTE 


they wanted to make Little Maude ” 
into a book all by her lonesome, I told 
them that unless they printed but five 
words to a page, and had such interest- 
ing marginal decorations that the reader 
would forget the paucity of text, they 
could hardly get beyond a couple of 
covers and a preface or two. 

But they suggested that little Maude 
might have had other adventures. 

This seemed likely enough, and be- 
cause little Miss Soberface had grown 
too old for bedtime stories, I went to 
my typewriter and told it the story 
of the shipwreck and the story of the 
fire. 

Then as I felt that the decoration 
of a cover was far beyond my amateur 
pencil, the services of that genial and 
fanciful man or man of fancy, Mr. 

[ 8 ] 


AUTHOR’S NOTE 

Peter Newell, were called into play 
and 

Well, the book is in your hands. 
Now you see how it all happened. 

Please do not think that I take it 
too seriously. The story was floating 
around somewhere, and when Miss 
Soberface asked me to “ tell her about 
a story it happened to be passing 
through my own brain and I allowed 
it to escape from so disorderly a place. 
The rest is chance. 

Charles Battell Loomis. 


[9] 


THE MOTHER OF LITTLE 
MAUDE AND LITTLE MAUDE 




I 


THE MOTHER OF LITTLE 
MAUDE AND LITTLE MAUDE 

O NCE upon a time there 
was a little girl named 
Maude, and she went out a-driving 
in a four-wheeled carriage drawn 
by two four-legged horses and 
driven by one two-legged driver. 
And the dear little girl named 
Maude sat on the front seat by the 
two-legged driver, and Maude’s 
dear Mamma sat on the back seat 
by herself, which is not the same 
as beside herself. 

[13] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

And all of a sudden the horses, 
which had only been running be- 
fore, began to run away. And 
the dear little girl named Maude 
wished to let her Mamma know 
that they were running away, but 
she did not wish to alarm her too 
suddenly, for sometimes shocks 
are serious. 

And the dear little girl named 
Maude saw a reporterman walk- 
ing along the sidewalk looking 
for news for his paper. So she 
called to the reporterman and 
said, “I wish to speak to you on 
business.” 

And the reporterman was agile, 

[H] 


AND HER MAMMA 

and he jumped on the step of 
the carriage, and the little girl 
said to him, “Please get it into 
your paper that the horses are 
running away, and I wish my 
dear Mamma to know it. I am 
none other than little Maude.” 

And the reporterman did not 
know that the lady on the back 
seat was the Mamma of little 
Maude, so he raised his cap and 
jumped from the carriage and 
nearly fell down in so doing, for 
the horses were now running 
madly on eight legs, and the driver 
was getting nervous, and the re- 
porterman went to the newspaper 

[15] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

office and wrote: “The horses of 
the little girl who is none other 
than little Maude, are running 
away, and it is a pretty serious 
business, for her Mamma does 
not know it, and there is no tell- 
ing when the horses will stop.” 

And they slapped this news 
into type, and then it was printed 
in the newspaper, and a newsboy 
took the papers and ran into the 
street, crying, “Extry! Extry I 
Full account of the running away 
of the horses of the little girl, 
who is none other than little 
Maude.” 

And Maude’s Mamma heard 

[i6] 


AND HER MAMMA 

the little boy, and she beckoned 
to him to bring her a paper. 
And the newsboy was also agile, 
and he leaped upon the step and 
sold a paper to the lady for a 
cent and then he jumped off 
again, for he had other papers to 
sell. 

And the Mamma of little 
Maude began to read the news. 
And when she came to the part 
that said the horses of little 
Maude were running away, she 
looked straight ahead and saw 
that it was indeed true. 

And with great presence of 
mind she climbed over the back 

[17] 


LITTLE MAUDE 


seat and dropped to the ground 
unhurt. And when little Maude 
saw that her dear Mamma had 
escaped, she also climbed over the 
back seat and dropped to the 
ground unhurt. And when the 
driver saw that Maude’s Mamma 
and little Maude had escaped, he 
also climbed over the back seat 
and dropped to the ground unhurt. 

And the two horses, who were 
very intelligent and who had 
wondered what would be the out- 
come of their runaway, got into 
the carriage and they also climbed 
over the back seat and dropped 
to the ground unhurt. 




■* 



LITTLE MAUDE AND THE 
SHIPWRECK 


II 


LITTLE MAUDE AND THE 
SHIPWRECK 

O N one occasion little Maude 
and Maude’s dear Mamma 
were on the ocean going from 
New York to London. And 
Maude’s Mamma was very sick. 

She lay in her berth and wished 
that she had postponed the trip 
until they had drained the sea. 

And little Maude, who was 
not sick, looked after her dear 
Mamma, but Maude’s Mamma did 
not look either after or before her 

[.I] 


LITTLE MAUDE 


daughter. Her eyes were closed, 
and she would have moaned if 
she had had strength. 

Little Maude, full of solicitude 
for her dear Mamma, said to her, 
“ Can I bring you an eclair ^ 
Mamma.?” And her Mamma 
made no response, at which the 
child was sorrowful, because she 
knew that if her Mamma was too 
sick to be polite, she was sick 
indeed. 

“Shall I bring you some pate 
de foie gras ^ dear Mamma.?” said 
little Maude, changing the name 
of the food in hope of coming 
nearer to her Mamma’s taste. 

[ 22 ] 



“ 'Can I bring you an eclair. Mamma F ’ ” 



AND HER MAMMA 

At the mention of pate de foie 
gras^ the good lady moved un- 
easily, and little Maude saw that 
she had not as yet hit on the right 
article of food. 

“They have nice fried eels, 
Mamma. Shall I have them 
bring you some with a little plum 
pudding.?” 

But Maude’s Mamma turned 
her head to the wall, and the dear 
child, seeing that she wished to 
engage in sleep, left her. 

On the way to the deck she 
felt a sudden shock, and a minute 
later she learned that they were 
about to have a shipwreck, owing 
[23] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

to the fact that the steamer had 
run upon a rock. 

All was now haste and confu- 
sion, and the child could not 
avoid the query to herself, “ How 
have these people been brought 
up that they so rudely push each 
other about and utter alarming 
cries ? ” 

And then the child thought of 
her Mamma, and she went to the 
captain and said, “My dear 
Mamma is in no condition to take 
part in your shipwreck! She is 
quite sick, and I dread to tell her 
that the ship has struck upon a 
rock as I fear the consequences. 
[Hi 


AND HER MAMMA 

Will it not be possible to get rid 
of the rock?” 

Then the captain, harassed 
though he was, removed his cap 
and said, “My dear child, if we 
had known that your Mamma 
was sick, and if I had noticed 
this rock, we would not have 
struck upon it. As it is, I am 
afraid that the good ship will 
founder, so I beg of you to ask 
your Mamma if she does not feel 
like coming up on deck and re- 
clining in a life-boat. We have 
some very easy ones, and we ex- 
pect to take to them soon.” 

“ I thank you for your courtesy, 

[25] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

good Captain,” said little Maude, 
“and I will at once carry your 
message to my dear Mamma, but 
I am sure that she will not care 
to be disturbed, as she was too 
sick to be interested in fried 
eels, although we often have 
them at home. I fear for her 
life.” 

The confusion on board the 
ship continued to be very trying 
to little Maude. People pushed 
and shoved rudely as they tried to 
get into the life- boats that the 
sailors were making ready to ship. 
One of them had been freshly 
painted, and a number of ladies 
[26] 


AND HER MAMMA 

ruined their frocks while hastily 
clambering into the boat. 

When little Maude saw this, 
worried though she was about her 
Mamma, she stood alongside the 
boat and said, “ Look out for 
paint,” to those who came near, 
and this thoughtfulness on her 
part saved many a frock from 
ruin. 

While she stood there, a gen- 
tleman who recognized that the 
girl was none other than little 
Maude, handed her a life preserver, 
but she refused it, although she 
thanked the gentleman for his at- 
tention. 


[27] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

“Later, perhaps, I may avail 
myself of your kind offer,” said 
she, politely, “but now I must 
run to my dear Mamma, who is so 
sick in her cabin that I dread tell- 
ing her what has happened.” 

But the resolute child went 
down the stairs to the cabin of 
her dear Mamma, and said to 
her, “ Mamma, I hardly know 
how to phrase that which I wish 
to communicate to you. If you 
could conveniently postpone your 
sickness it would be as well, be- 
cause, — Mamma, dear, did you 
notice a little jar a while ago.?” 

“Yes,” said her Mamma, “I 
[28] 


AND HER MAMMA 

think it was a jar of marmalade, 
but I told the stewardess to please 
take it away.” 

“No, but I refer to a shock — 
oh. Mamma, the ship has hit upon 
a rock and is soon going to the 
bottom. Do you not think you 
could come up on deck and be 
rescued ? ” 

“If I must, I must,” said 
Maude’s Mamma, “and let us get 
away as soon as possible. A cabin 
is no place in which to be sick.” 

When they reached the deck, 
to Maude’s dismay, she saw that 
all the boats had been cast off, 
and that no one remained aboard 
[29] 


LITTLE MAUDE 


the ship save the crew and the 
captain. He was still on the 
bridge, his trumpet in his hands 
and a look of relief on his face. 

“ Good morning,” said he, 
when he saw Maude’s Mamma. 
“Are you feeling better.?” 

“Yes, the fresh air has revived 
me. Tell me. Captain, do you 
think it would be good for me to 
go out rowing?” 

“It will not be necessary, dear 
madam, thanks to the departure 
of the other passengers. Since 
they went the ship is appreciably 
lighter and will soon float off the 
rock, and then I will signal to the 
[30] 


AND HER MAMMA 

engineer to go ahead and we will 
try to make some port.” 

“ Thank you, Captain, but tea 
will do me just as well. I am a 
teetotaler. I feel much better, 
and would relish a cup of tea and 
a biscuit this minute.” 

When little Maude heard these 
words, she knew that her Mamma 
was once more restored to health, 
and she clapped her hands and 
said, “How true it is that bless- 
ings come to us out of seeming 
adversities. Do you not now feel 
like a little fried eel ? ” 

“I believe I do,” said her 
Mamma, smiling sweetly. 

[31 1 


J 



LITTLE MAUDE AND THE 
FIRE 



Ill 


LITTLE MAUDE AND THE 
FIRE 

O N another day little Maude 
sat by her dear Mamma 
while the devoted lady read to 
her daughter out of a book. 

Now little Maude knew that 
it is the height of rudeness to in- 
terrupt those who read to us for 
our delight, so when she saw a 
little flame curling in the next 
room, she let it curl, hoping that 
the chapter would not be a long 
[35 ] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

one, and that the flame might get 
weary of curling and go out. 

But it was a long and interest- 
ing chapter, and while Maude’s 
Mamma read, little Maude saw 
other flames come to curl beside 
the one that had begun the busi- 
ness of curling. 

Now after the flames had curled 
a while they began to lick the fur- 
niture. And when flames get to 
licking they are apt to destroy 
anything that is of an inflammable 
nature, and little Maude wished 
that there were no rules for po- 
liteness. 

But her dear Mamma was so 
[36] 



“ Little Maude satv other flames come to curl ” 



AND HER MAMMA 

interested in the reading, and it 
was so kind of her to give her 
time to her daughter that little 
Maude forbore to speak. 

It was not long before a maid 
saw the fire, and judging that it 
would be well to bring it to the 
attention of some one, she came 
to the door of the room to tell 
her mistress, but little Maude laid 
her finger on her lips to signify 
that her Mamma was reading, 
and would not care to be inter- 
rupted, so the maid went away — 
to pack her trunk. 

And the fire went on burning 
and spread to other parts of the 
[ 37 ] 


LITTLE MAUDE 


house. Then a fireman who hap- 
pened to be going by in the street 
on his way home to luncheon, 
saw the flames, and said to him- 
self very promptly, “My luncheon 
can wait, but this fire will wait 
for no man. Unless I go at 
once to my brave comrades, and 
tell them to hasten to this scene, 
the fire may ultimately resist our 
utmost efforts.” 

So he broke into a run without 
hurting the run at all, and has- 
tened to the fire-house, and said 
to his companions, who were 
playing at draughts, “Come, let 
us go and put out the fire in the 
[38] 


AND HER MAMMA 

house of little Maude. I have 
not yet had luncheon, but,” said 
he, “ what of that? ” 

Not a fireman answered his 
question. Perhaps they did not 
know what to say, but all leaped 
to their tasks, and the horses 
leaped to their shafts, and in a 
much longer time than it takes 
to tell it, they had reached the 
home of little Maude. 

And it was almost no more. 
The flames had destroyed the 
right wing, but the part where 
Maude and her Mamma sat had 
as yet been spared. 

While some of the firemen 
[39I 


LITTLE MAUDE 

rang the front door bell in order 
that they might be admitted to 
the house to carry a line of hose, 
others directed copious streams 
from without into rooms not yet 
a-fire, that they might flood 
them and make it harder for 
the flames to injure the wall 
paper, the hangings, and the fur- 
niture. 

And some who were not as 
busy as the others went to a 
department store hard by and 
bought a life net. 

At last a stream of water smote 
the window of the room in 
which little Maude’s Mamma 
[40] 


AND HER MAMMA 

was reading to the child, and 
broke it, and made a splash on 
the book. 

Then little Maude’s Mamma 
saw what had happened, and, 
putting her finger in the book to 
keep the place, she took her 
daughter’s hand, and together 
they went to see the fire from a 
more advantageous point. 

“ What a pity it is not night 
time, the flames show so well 
against the black sky,” said 
Maude’s Mamma. 

She went to the window, and 
calling to the firemen she asked, 
“Where is the life net?” 

[41 ] 


LITTLE MAUDE 

And the fireman said, “We 
are sorry, but the others have 
not yet returned with it. They 
are waiting for change in the de- 
partment store in which they 
bought it.” 

So Maude and her Mamma 
walked down the front stairs, 
which, fortunately, had not yet 
been attacked by the flames, and 
soon reached the garden. On 
the way Maude’s Mamma said, 
“ How long has this been going 
on, my child?” 

“ Oh, Mamma,” said little 
Maude, “it must have begun 
when you started to read the last 
[ 42 ] 


AND HER MAMMA 

chapter. Do you wish to chide 
me for not telling you?” 

“No, I have no wish to chide 
you,” said the lady, “ for I see 
you have poise. Come, we will 
finish the story in the garden, and 
then, if I can get some charcoal 
that is not too damp, we will 
make coffee for these brave fel- 
lows. How fortunate, my child, 
that the house is insured.” 


THE END 


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